FO·MO
/ˈfōmō/
Noun: Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media. -Oxford dictionary
Now, we’re all familiar with the term FOMO, the ‘fear of missing out’. This is one of the emotions we feel when it comes to the thought of missing out on social events, trips, special occasions, or even just a night out with friends. I admit I suffer from the ‘FOMO’ and I can get it pretty bad at times. I used to get ‘FOMO’ a lot harder as a kid and young adult than I do now. I remember having feelings of FOMO before FOMO was even a thing, looooooooong before. I think we all experience this feeling at some point, even from a very young age. Kids playing in the sand box, or tag, and you’re not involved…FOMO. Older siblings getting to do things that you can’t cause you’re too young… FOMO. Having to work while others play…FOMO. There are many many instances throughout our lives that we are fearful to miss out on.
When we miss out, we feel a sense of loss, even though we are losing something we never had. We experience feelings of jealousy or a missed opportunity for connection. It’s often a feeling that whatever is happening ‘there’ is better than what I am doing ‘here’. I have always been the last to go to bed, or the one to drive miles and miles to make it to an event just to ensure I don’t miss out… (why do we say that, “miles and miles”, when we use kilometers… I tried writing kilometers and kilometers, but it didn’t have the same ring to it… anyways). That feeling of FOMO can be felt in many situations and is always attached to a sad or disappointed emotion. Often it is the glamorous made up stories that we are missing, the extravagant, amazing event that YOU will not experience, that once in a lifetime memory, that, well, now you don’t get to have.
The feeling of the FOMO can even pressure you into doing or attending things that you don’t wanna do. The fear of missing out can and often even trumps the comfort of living in the moment, due to worrying about what you’re not doing, ie. missing something. What is the solution to FOMO you ask? Well you could just ‘go’ I guess, but don’t be fooled, we have an anxiety measure for that too…oh yes, it’s something I call ‘FOGO’.
FO-GO
/ˈfōgō/
Noun: Anxiety surrounding going out and participating in social events. Often triggered by the crippling fears and intrusion of the ‘what ifs’. -My brain
Now, I know that most of you may not be as familiar with with this less popular term ‘FOGO’,but I am certain some of you can relate. This my friends is something people (especially those with anxiety) deal with often. This is the ‘fear of going out’. It is just as intimidating and potentially full of regret as the FOMO, but on a different scale. This is the absolute dread of going to a social event or gathering. This is the gut wrenching worry about what will or what won’t happen. The ‘what if’s’ can eat you alive while you’re experiencing the ‘FOGO’. “What if I make a fool of myself?”, “what if nobody wanted me there?”, “what if I say something stupid, and then have to replay it in my mind while I’m trying to sleep 10 years from now?”. Or that special rare thought, ‘what if I have fun and everything goes right?’ ahhahah, nice try brain, but that thought rarely happens. The FOMO and the FOGO are in a very conscious battle most of the time. If I do go, then all these bad things could happen, But if I DON’T go, then I will obviously be missing out on the best time ever… how conflicting hmmmm.
At the end of the day, it would almost appear that the missing out is the only thing that can save you from the going out, and the going out is the only thing that can save you from the missing out… what a world.
However, there is always secret option C, there is always a secret option C, and that is…
Do what you want to do.
Do what you feel comfortable doing.
Do what makes you happy.
So yes, in short, what I am saying is, keep those comfy clothes on, warm up that tea or fill up that wine, turn on that show, grab that blanket and settle in, you’re gonna be alright 😀 <3